Book Review of FOR WOMEN ONLY by Shaunti Feldhahn

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn (Multnomah Books 2004), 189 pages.

This small book is a discussion of a survey of 1000 men that Shaunti Feldhahn conducted.  Her original survey of 300 men was scientifically conducted and yielded unexpected results, so she refined a few questions and polled several hundred more men.  Here is a sample of seven of the eighteen survey questions she covers in this book.

1.  Think about what these two negative experiences would be like to feel alone and unloved in the world OR to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone.  If you were forced to choose one, which would you prefer?  Would you rather feel:

  • Alone and unloved                                  74%
  • Inadequate and disrespected                    26%

2.  Regardless of how successful you are in your current job, which statement most closely describes your feelings about your work life?

  • I try to perform well and look as competent as possible, when inside I sometimes feel insecure and am concerned about other’s opinion of me and my abilities.                                       71.7%
  • I always feel secure in my abilities and rarely consider what others think of me.                                                   29.3%

3.  Men who are taking risks and progressing in their careers will inevitably face many situations that are somewhat unfamiliar and challenging.  Think back over several situations like that in your career.  Which one of these feelings were you most likely to experience?  (Choose one answer.)

  • I can handle it, no problem.                                                        26.7%
  • I’m somewhat out of my depth here, and I hope it doesn’t show.   60.7%
  • I feel a bit like an imposter;  I’m not fully qualified to do this and I hope no one finds out.                                                                               14.7%

4.  Suppose your wife/significant other earned enough to support your family’s lifestyle.  Would you still feel a compulsion to provide for your family?  (Choose one answer.)

  • Yes                                     78%
  • No                                     22%

5.  Under what circumstances do you think about your responsibility to provide for your family?  (Choose one answer.)

  • Never                                                                                       3%
  • Only when I’m unemployed or facing financial challenges.           6%
  • It’s occasionally in the back of my mind.                                    20%
  • It’s often                                                                                 21%
  • It’s something I’m conscious of most of the time.                        50%

6.  Suppose you had to plan an anniversary event for your wife/significant other.  Do you know how to put together a romantic event that you know your partner would enjoy?  (Choose one answer.)

  • Yes, I can do it with style.                                                    54%
  • Yes, but I’m not sure that I would do a very good job.              34%
  • No, she may not like what I did.                                            8%
  • No, I really don’t have a clue.                                               4%

7.  Is this statement true or false?  “I want my wife/significant other to look good and feel energetic.  It is not as important that she look just like she did the day we met.  It is more important that she make the effort to take care of herself for me now.”  (Choose one answer.)

  • True                                                                           83%
  • False                                                                          17%

Finally, Shaunti asked the men what was the most important thing they wanted their wives to know.  Thirtytwo percent of the respondents said they wished their wives knew how much they loved her.  For Women Only discusses the results of this survey.  Shaunti offers ideas and anecdotes from participants as to why the men responded as they did.  Shaunti Feldhahn conducted further surveys of women and teenagers to write the companion books For Men Only, For Parents Only, For Young Women Only, and For Young Men Only.  The survey and further information is available at http://www.forwomenonlybook.com/.

The book review of For Women Only originally appeared on jaynechaseloseke.com on March 20, 2014.

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